elsewhere

i started another new blog. i write there more for some reason. if you are interested, ask.

numbers

You asked me why I count days...

it's because I make a mental list of all the things wrong with me for all those days that pass.

changes.

the moment we got out of the house on darby, life got better. i miss my best friend. at least, the best friend i thought she was. i don't think we will ever be the same. that hurts my heart more than i can explain.

i'm ready for new changes. new friends. it sucks when you grow up and realize that everyone else isn't growing at the same pace. here's to hoping i can find that out-going wendy i knew in high school... the one who was friends with everyone first, because making friends is what she lived to do. i talked to anyone and everyone i saw. fearless. now i am shy and afraid of rejection.

i'm ready for new changes.

It can only get better from here.

Wow. It's been crazy, to say the least. I lost my best friend. Which really sucks... but I'm not ready to be over it yet. Funny how living with someone really shows you who a person is - even when you thought you knew that person inside-out. They are gone now. Which is nice. I can walk in to my house without anxiety now. It still doesn't feel like home though.

I just want to move already. Stress levels are rising with every day that passes and my W-2's are not in the mailbox. I need that money. I need it bad.

The only thing I have going right in my life at the moment is love. If it were not for my babe, I don't know where I'd be. With everything else going so horribly sour, I need to know that there is at least one person standing by my side through it all. Most times, I feel like that's all I have.